


lo que se merece

by DarkieDucessa



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), F/M, Gay Disaster Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, Voltron Season 8 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-23 21:33:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17088128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkieDucessa/pseuds/DarkieDucessa
Summary: All I want is for him to be happy. Nothing else matters...(season 8 spoilers!)





	lo que se merece

_“So Lance is going on a date with Allura tonight!”_

 

For a second my breath freezes in my chest. It's all I can do to not tense up visibly, and instead force a smile on my face.

 

_“Really? That's great.”_

_“I know right? He almost chickened out too, I had to make him finally do it!”_

_“Classic Lance, huh.”_

 

* * *

 

 

I always knew this was going to happen.

He's liked her since we first met her, and it was only a matter of time till he finally worked up the courage to ask her. And ever since we got the chance to rest on Earth, I knew he would eventually actually do it.

I decided a long time ago I was going to be okay with that. I was going to be happy for him...for them.

...I guess a part of me still thought it wouldn't actually happen, though.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Man, you can be a real hard guy to find when you wanna be.”_

_“Hey Lance—Whoa! What...are you wearing?”_

_“Aah, Coran made it for me for my date with Allura.”_

_“A date with Allura? Wow. Well done, Lance.”_

_“Thanks, but...it could be our last. I can't keep all these Altean customs straight.”_

_“Listen...If she's going out with you, it's because she likes you. The annoying, stupid, Earth version of you.”_

_“Hahaha...”_

 

 

 

I don't really like him that much, anyway. He can be so annoying, his hair looks dumb, he likes to ask questions in Spanish when he knows I can't understand him, his face is...stupid...

_Damn it, no. I'm okay with this. I'm happy. I'm...okay._

 

* * *

 

 

As much as I've gotten used to piloting Black, sometimes I still imagine myself in Red again...

We've come a long way since we were Red and Blue, rival and rival, isolated loner and hopeless flirt. In a way I guess it's fitting that I don't pilot Red anymore...leaving her behind was leaving that part of myself behind as well.

Just like he grew up and left Blue behind...grew up from useless and irritating to mature and responsible. Somehow. I guess that's what she sees in him, since she used to be so frustrated just by his presence.

 

I almost ran into them in the hallway yesterday. They were standing really close, and before I could say anything, they were...

…

I'm not proud of the way I ran away...trying to ignore the nausea welling up in my throat.

_Fuck, I hate this. This isn't happening. I'm okay with this..._

 

* * *

 

 

_“Hey, Keith?”_

_“What is it?”_

_“...Never mind.”_

 

His eyes are dark again...

 

_“What's going on, Lance?”_

_“ No es nada...”_

_“You came to talk to me for a reason though, right?”_

_“Yeah...just.....mmph. I've just been really stressed lately...”_

_“I'm surprised you aren't talking to Allura about it.”_

_“She...she has enough going on right now, without having to worry about me. And part of it is..I'm worried about her. The way the Alteans have treated her, everything that's been happening, and I..I don't think I'm doing enough to help.”_

_“Lance...”_

_“She's my girlfriend, and I should be able to make her happy, right? But every time we talk it just seems to be about the war, and she gets so down...”_

_“...I don't think you have to be responsible for her happiness, though. This is a pretty dark situation we're in, and I doubt anything you do is just going to make that go away for her.”_

_“But I should still be able to do something! I...I feel so inútil... _Helpless._ ”_

_“Well...you're probably helping her just from being there to listen, right? Maybe that's what she needs from you right now.”_

_“..It doesn't feel like enough...”_

_“I know, but as hard as it is to believe...it is enough.”_

_“...I hope so. I should probably...”_

_“Yeah...”_

_“See you tomorrow, Keith.”_

_“....Lance?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“I...I'm here for you, if you need to talk to someone.”_

_“...Thanks, Keith.”_

 

* * *

 

 

Honestly, I hate him.

I hate the way his eyes light up when he's really happy. I despise how his brow furrows when he's focusing. I loathe the way he walks into a room and everything just seems so much better.

I hate how his smile makes me feel weightless.

I hate that I always know when he's sad from the way his eyes darken.

I hate that I would do anything to make them light up again.

 

_Stop._

 

* * *

 

 

_“She's gonna be okay.”_

_“I hope so.”_

 

 

He probably thinks he's the only one with that feeling of being useless...of the thought that he should be able to do something, but he just can't, no matter how much he tries.

…

We're going to make it out of this...he's going to make it out, and he's going to take her to watch the sunset on Earth, and I'm going to be fine with that.

He deserves to be happy. I want him to be happy.

That's all that matters.

 

* * *

 

 

_“I'm afraid this is where we...part ways.”_

 

* * *

 

 

...I hate the way he looks when he's lost everything.

I hate the way everyone is looking at him, like a cracked glass that will shatter at any moment.

I hate that his eyes have been dark ever since that day.

 

_I swear I tried, Lance. I tried to keep you both safe, I tried to help you be happy, I-I..._

_I would do anything to fix this..._

 

* * *

 

 

I haven't seen him in months now. He went back to Earth, and I went with my mom and the Blade of Marmora to try and rally the Galra to peace.

Coran asked all the paladins to come to Altea tomorrow, to see everyone again and to honor Allura's memory. As far as I know, everyone's going to be able to make it.

...I hope he's okay.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Lance?”_

_“Keith! Hey, buddy!”_

_“Hey! Uh, how are you doing?”_

_“I'm doing a lot better actually. Man, it's been too long since I've seen you though! I've missed everyone so much!”_

_“It's so good to see you too...and everyone.”_

 

 

His eyes are sparkling again.

I hate that I feel the happiest I've felt in a year...

 

* * *

 

 

_“I wish I'd been there for you more.”_

_“Hm?”_

_“...this past year. I know it must've been hard for you, and...I wasn't around enough.”_

_“Oh...don't worry about it, Keith. I think the time was good for me...a-and anyway, I'm just glad that all of us are getting back together again!”_

_“Okay...”_

_“...Thanks for thinking of me though.”_

_“...”_

_“...ah, the sunsets here are really pretty, aren't they? Como tú...”_

_“...yeah.”_

 

 

_His hand brushes over mine._

_I think it's a mistake, but he leaves it there, and I'm trying not to shake. Or tense. Or react in any way._

_The golden Altean sunlight is reflecting in his eyes..._

 

* * *

 

 

I hate that he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I hate that I couldn't protect his happiness. I despise that I haven't been there for him. I loathe that I was too busy feeling regret for my own failures to be there to support him.

I hate that he's smiling at me. I hate that I'm able to feel this happy.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Are you ever going to tell him, Keith?”_

_“...tell him what?”_

_“How you feel.”_

_“I-I don't know what you're talking about—”_

_“Keith, I've known you since you were a kid. I can tell.”_

_“...how long have you known?”_

_“For almost two years now. So...are you going to tell him?”_

_“I can't...it's only been a year. I can't do that to him.”_

_“I know it seems like that, Keith, but...you can't keep your feelings bottled up forever. It'll only cause you pain, and you'll end up pushing him away from you, and that would just make him feel worse.”_

_“He'll feel worse if I tell him. I don't think he even likes guys.”_

_“...I've seen the way you look at each other. I think you have a better chance than you think.”_

_“I just can't, Shiro, okay? I won't put that on him. I've been hiding it for years now, I can keep hiding it.”_

_“Keith...You know you deserve to be happy too, right?”_

 

* * *

 

 

His happiness is more important.

Anything I say would just hurt him more. I've already let him down, I...I should just leave him alone. I should let him be happy again. I have to—

 

 

_“Keith, can we talk?”_

_“Uh..sure, what's up?”_

_“Um...I was thinking...that is, I...wow, this is really hard. Uhm...I-I've been wanting to ask you something.”_

_“Okay..?”_

_“Have you ever...felt 'wrong' for liking someone?”_

_“...'Wrong' how?”_

_“Like...like you owe it to someone else that you don't. Like you shouldn't be allowed to think this way, because of them, e-even if they'd...want you to be happy.”_

_“I...might have, I guess. Why do you ask?”_

_“I've just...I've been doing a lot of thinking this last year. And...a lot of the time I found my thoughts going to someone specific. And I realized that when I was thinking about that person, I...I was happy...but, I didn't think I was allowed to be happy because of someone else anymore, because she was gone.”_

_“Oh...”_

_“But, lately I think I've realized something. As...as wrong as it feels, it also feels better than I've felt in...a really long time. A lot longer than a year, probably. I'm sure that sounds awful, but that's just how I feel.”_

_“...Okay...”_

_“Anyway...I guess what I'm trying to say is...would you want to maybe come over a-and have dinner with me? And my family! And me. And...yeah?”_

 

 

Is this really happening?

 

 

_“Sure, Lance. I'd like that.”_

_“ O-oh, awesome! I-increíble!”_

 

 

His eyes are sparkling.

 

 

_“I-I'll see you tonight then, Keith!”_

_“Y-yeah, I'll...see you later.”_

 

 

The door closes behind him and I sink to my knees where I'm standing. My legs feel like jelly, my heart is pounding, I can hardly catch my breath...

I put my hands over my face. It hurts from how wide I'm smiling.

 

 

_I don't deserve this at all, but...I want this so much._

_I..._

 

 

_“I love you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in such a long time, but ever since season 8 I've just needed to write something for it...even if my writing sucks X'D  
> For the record, I actually liked season 8 and I don't see the ending as a "Lance will be hung up over Allura forever" implication--like, we only saw him a year later and he already seemed happier than he had been. And they're all so young still, and he was only with her for like a few months...of course he's going to be able to move on and be happy without her XD
> 
> And him becoming a farmer seemed really in line with his character to me...like, at the start of the series he wanted to be "the greatest pilot ever", but by the time the series has ended he's been fighting in a war as a pilot for a really long time--and as far back as season 1 he just wanted to be home with his family. So, him going home to be with his family on their farm seems entirely "him" to me.
> 
> That's just my thoughts anyway XD  
> Anyway, thanks for reading~! :3


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